I don’t know what to write here, but I know I have something to say. I have not been writing blog posts at all lately. My world has been a swirl of chaos, anxiety, and stress lately. I may have mentioned before that I am completing my undergrad, which is harder than I thought. There are financial burdens and assignments, but I am experiencing something that I did not expect.
According to my psychology major friends, it is fourth-year syndrome. Lack of motivation coupled with fear of the unknown beyond graduation and a desire to do well in the final spirit to the finish line. It is really hard to do anything when your motivation seems to be dampened by a soaking cloud of darkness.
I have had fears of not knowing why the heck I ever pursued an undergrad and why the heck I chose this field of study. What does a person do with a philosophy degree? Realistically, a lot can be done with any degree, if not only for self growth. But you see, I have a strong belief that there is a God and that he has a plan for my life. I don’t think that he determines my every choice, but I really do belief that He will use my degree for something meaningful in life. Maybe its because I am a worrier, or as another friend of mine has suggested, that I am a Type A personality, but I have often felt very confused about what steps I should take from here.
This post is kind of turning into a rant, but maybe one of you are experiencing the same thing. It really sucks to not knowing what lays ahead of you. Despite this all, there are something that are really helpful and nice to cling to. Firstly, God loves us even if no one else does. Secondly, I’m sure there are people who love each of us. Thirdly, there is always someone willing to help make your dreams happen.
I’m not sure what else to say except that I was glad I could share this with you all. I find writing so releasing and really hope to do it more. There are so many half-finished posts just waiting to be read by you all! I’ll have to work to finish those.
Until next time,